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Kate’s Point Of View
I listlessly stirred a cappuccino with a thin neck stainless steel spoon, knowing it was my first and last of the day. It seemed awful to give up so many profound pleasures, but on the other side of the scales, Jacob’s baby weighed in, and suddenly the burden lessened.
“You like coffee, Kate.”
“Is that a statement or observation?”
“Both, really. I know what it’s like to want something badly while feeling it might not be good for me.”
“Do you mean by having adoptive parents, Alicia?”
“Yeah. The dream is for Kate and Jacob, but reality doesn’t work that way. Henry explains that to us a great deal.”
“What does he say?”
“He tells us it’s important to fit in with a couple who already know what their child should be like because they have figured it all out.”
“And what advice does Henry give, Alicia?”
“He says we should be ourselves and that we are more important than the parents interviewing us.”
I couldn’t fault Henry’s logic. Adoption is a commitment to meet a child’s needs, not an opportunity to acquire someone who must fit in.
“Where are we going tomorrow, Kate? Jacob said I should ask you about it.”
“We are going to GD’s offices where you can meet my friend Hannah. That’s Claude’s girlfriend. I also have a new CEO arriving.”
“Is Jacob coming with us?”
“Is that important to you?”
“I like to be close to both of you. I have never been adopted. I don’t know how to behave.”
“Of course, Jacob’s coming. He won’t ever leave your side.”
“He is a knight, Kate.”
Our morning routine had changed to incorporate breakfast with Alicia, served by Lizzie. Jacob stepped out on the balcony, taking a call from the equine master regarding the delivery of Beauty and Sierra with two other favorites. We needed enough horses at A Walk In The Clouds for those staying, but not so many that regular riders at Granger Hall would be denied.
When Jacob returned, he looked positive, so his plan seemed to work. I leaned in when he slid between Alicia and me.
“Did you convince them?”
“They’re working out a rota now. I said each groom could take it in turn, have free use of a lodge here, transport, meals, and bring their whole family for one week at a time. We’ll get two more local grooms to help manage and offer free rides and lessons to the orphanage.”
“Did the equine master complain?”
“He was hesitant, and they all worried we might close the stables at Granger Hall.”
“That was never an intention, though, Jacob.”
“It’s natural for people to worry. I will need a budget uplift signed off by you and Catherine. There is no plan for funding our new home.”
“Whatever you need, sweetheart, email me, please. I don’t see why you can’t authorize this yourself.”
“It’s not my money, Kate.”
“Send me an email then.”
“I already did.”
I was fed up with discussions over budget and money. Our female-led relationship was about me helping my fiancee be the very best man he could be on his terms and totally without financial restraint.
Jacob lifted my coffee and shared the meager ration I was allowed. I squinted and scowled comically. Alicia slapped my hand and laughed.
“How did you get a budget done so fast, Jacob?”
“It was all Lizzie. Nothing to do with me. It seems we have an ally.”
“We do, for sure.”
Lizzie slid another creamy mug in front of me. It looked like milky coffee with a couple of cloves floating on top. I tasted it and grinned.
“Ohh, that’s lovely, Lizzie. What is it?”
“Masala Chai. Black tea leaves, cardamom, ginger, lemongrass, cloves and cinnamon. It’s very popular in Asia.”
“Did you pick it up from a recipe?”
“No, Kate, among many other things, I learned it from a lover when I lived in Nepal.”
I was gobsmacked when she winked, smiled, and reached into a drawer behind her catering island, retrieving a file cover. Alicia clasped a hand over her mouth, stifling a fit of giggles while Jacob laughed loudly. Lizzie placed her file in front of me.
“The budget covers all living and running overhead for the entire estate. There are few monetizing opportunities unless you want to harvest walnuts and fruits.”
“Wouldn’t that affect the wildlife?”
“Yes. Birds, bears, and other mammals would suffer.”
“Then no.”
“Henry has a few ideas to make money. He wants to start with bees and honey but doesn’t have the land.”
“Tell him to go ahead but perhaps involve the orphanage and let them sell the honey at a marked-up price.”
“And what shall we charge as rent for the land?”
“One dollar a year on a ten-year lease.”
“That’s very generous.”
It was generous but also selfish. Fitting into our community meant helping rather than controlling and leveraging. Henry and the orphanage were crucial for us, mostly because of Alicia but also for me. This house was about settling somewhere I could call home and where I could build a nest with my beloved Jacob and our children.
My formidable housekeeper eyed me closely.
“What is it, Kate, or dare I ask whether another dynamic plot is about to hatch?”
“I have an idea, Lizzie. Please invite Henry here one lunchtime when you know my Mom will be around. Catherine has access to a foundation that might help local causes. You’ll know how to steer their conversation, I’m sure.”
She nodded, and I drifted onto the balcony to enjoy a view and my new favorite pregnancy coffee alternate. The creamy drink tasted spicy-sweet and reminiscent of exotic foreign lands.
I mused about Lizzie and how she’d surprised me. The woman appeared to be a loner and was very attractive but quite secretive.
Eventually, Mom joined me outside with coffee and toast, then Alicia came, and finally, Jacob sat on a double-width rattan sofa with me. He cut away after an hour to catch up with Carrie.
I can’t say how many hours were spent sitting on that balcony talking and laughing, but when I finally went back inside to join my fiancee and his sibling, I felt like a thousand days had been enjoyed in a cradle of love.
I rested an arm around my future sister-in-law’s shoulder, smiling at her. She looked relaxed, and I wondered if her problems with their mother were solved or temporarily suspended.
“Hi, Carrie. Were you comfortable last night?”
“The air here is so much fresher in the mornings. I ran first thing as the sun rose. Would you like to join me tomorrow?”
“Can I?”
“Yes. If you ran before pregnancy, it’s fine unless you suspect something might be wrong.”
“I have no reason to believe that’s the case.”
“We’ll bring Jacob because he’s slow anyhow.”
My fiancee shook his head. There was a loving rivalry between the siblings. I was keen to escape the captivity of pregnancy, so I sidled close to Jacob, hoping to free myself for a run in the morning. I held his hand and stared beseechingly into his eyes.
He held on for a minute, then caved.
“Will the run be at my pace, Kate?”
“Yes, sweetheart.”
“Then yes.”
I immediately shot off to check that all of my running gear had arrived. Jacob followed close behind and began packing both our suitcases.
“What are you packing for?”
“We’ll have to leave later this afternoon to arrive at our city apartment. Alicia is packing as well. We can take her shopping for clothes, hiking, and horse riding gear.”
“We need a helicopter, Jacob.”
“Maybe. There is plenty of time. We could take Alicia to the apartment, go to GD tomorrow, stay another night, then come back here Tuesday.”
“That works. We need a proper schedule, though. We also need to discuss schooling and a tutor for Alicia.”
“Henry seems to be the best option to organize that. I’ll call him now if you like.”
“We need to discuss something first, Jacob. Sit down.”
“Okay, that sounds ominous.”
When Jacob sat on our bed, I straddled his lap. Staring intensely into his eyes, reading my fiancee’s emotions was always the best way to understand him.
“You’re not in favor of taking Alicia to GD, right?”
“Not really.”
“Why not?”
“She’s a clever girl, Kate. She’s probably more like you than you already realize, but she’s had trauma, such as I can’t imagine, and has grown up fast. Showing her GD might advance that loss of her youth.”
“You think she would be better off staying here?”
“No. She should be with us. Let’s meet Gunther and Hannah outside GD. Alicia needs ponies, ATV rides, fishing, hiking, and her friends, not corporate enslavement and the burning desire to follow in her new Mom’s footsteps.”
“Wow. That’s all true.”
“She’s not even started settling in yet.”
“What do you suggest then, Jacob.”
“Let’s go to the city, have your meetings at the apartment, and then we’ll take Alicia shopping.”
“I want to teach her many things, but riding would be the best start. You’re right, darling; I need to slow down.”
“She has a calming effect on me, Kate. It’s like rediscovering the important things in life, a conversation with someone you love before they or you vanish.”
“Okay, we’ll do it your way. You have parenting figured out better than I do. Perhaps having GD less on my mind will help me catch up.”
“Thank you, Kate.”
“I have a favor to ask as well, sweetheart.”
“Anything for you, Kate.”
“I have lawyers coming here next Friday. The company ownership will remain mine, but all other private assets, including our homes, horses, even the ATV, and all money in both our bank accounts become our community property jointly.”
“Fuck no!”
“There will be no prenup, Alicia will have a trust fund by next week. You and I will discuss having a will that leaves everything to the surviving party, but we’ll incorporate allowances for my Mom, sister, and anyone from your family you’d like to leave something to.”
“Jesus n-.”
“Please think about this before answering Jacob. I don’t want a prenup looming over our wedding day.”
“What if something happens between us?”
“We’ll figure it out, Jacob. If having you means I risk a few billion dollars on the slim chance our marriage fails, then it’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
“You won’t take no for an answer, will you, Kate?”
“I’m willing to discuss everything, but I won’t sign a prenup, Jacob.”
I’d considered the matter of wealth planning long and hard. If I lost GD through a divorce, regardless of fault or reason, so be it. At least I could regard my husband as an equal in every sense and that others would see him that way as well.
“Are you sure about this, Kate?”
“We have a daughter, Jacob, with another child on the way. It’s important we are united in every sense, including financially.”
“I know.”
“Also, Henry should tutor Alicia. I think you’re right about letting our daughter explore her life her way. There is plenty of time for GD or whatever she’s into after College.”
“Thank you, Kate.”
“No Jacob… it’s me that thanks you.”
The delighted screams of a child could only mean that our horse trailers had arrived. Jacob and I joined a crowd in the parking lot while Beauty, Sierra, and two other beautiful horses were unloaded.
Despite warnings from Craig, our equine master, Alicia ran straight to Beauty and reached up to his nose, scratching it. I darted forward, terrified, because my huge stallion was very particular about who touched him.
I need not have worried. Beauty’s body language was friendly, and he lowered his head, wanting more attention. Mom chuckled and stepped over beside Alicia, stroking Beauty together.
“I’ve never seen that before, Mom.”
“The horses were the same with you and Claire. Sierra was the same with Jacob as well. They know kindness and love when they sense it.”
“I’ll leave you to stable them if that’s okay. Jacob and I are packing.”
“Of course, can Alicia stay and help?”
“Yes, please. She needs time to pack as well, but we’re shopping for her anyway so she won’t need to bring much.”
“Don’t forget to keep your dungeon locked down.”
I felt shocked when Mom reminded me of something so obvious that I hadn’t considered it at all. I suddenly dreaded conversations about the future, especially where sexual proclivities were concerned.
How the fuck do we explain about how daddy like Mommy to thrash him?
Mom laughed and snuck away from Alicia and Beauty, taking my arm and moving us to a distance.
“It’s easy. You wait until she’s a teenager, talk about a full spectrum of sexuality, and let her choose when she’s ready. You have a few years left to worry about it, Kate.”
“But what about the dungeons?”
“Tell her they’re private places; don’t let her guess an obvious door code, and improve soundproofing.”
“Could you deal with soundproofing, please?”
“Consider it done by the end of the week.”
I helped Jacob pack, then joined Alicia, who was considering what she needed for the City. She sat on her bed in an all too familiar quandary.
“Can’t decide what clothes to bring?”
“No. How am I expected to dress, Kate?”
“However you wish sweetheart. You can wear dresses, skirts, pants or jeans and whatever you’d like on top. What style do you like best.”
“I’d like to dress simply and with elegant style, like you.”
“We’ll need jeans then.”
“I like your dresses too.”
“What about sweatpants, casual rags to run around in.”
“I have plenty of rags, Kate. The orphanage couldn’t afford much, and we always handed them down or received clothes from another.”
“It must have been tough.”
“It was, but I enjoyed it.”
“You can invite your friends here any time.”
“That’s not likely to happen, Kate.”
I held her hand, worrying about what I should say next. Alicia didn’t seem unhappy. As Jacob noticed about her, she had wisdom beyond her years.
“Are you worried about leaving some out and inviting others?”
“Yes, but also, I don’t want anyone to feel jealous.”
“Okay. I’m sure we can figure that out together. I don’t mind if they all come to visit.”
“Are you sure, Kate?”
“This is your home to invite whomever you wish.”
“But you and Jacob are in charge here.”
“We’re here to guide you, Alicia. Neither of us will ever coerce or control you. We might step in if you do something dangerous, but it’s your life, your choices.”
We finished packing and drove in Jacob’s car to our City apartment. I showed my daughter around, explaining the room that was out-of-bounds to her. Alicia didn’t question why, and I figured that must be because the idea of places she wasn’t permitted to go was a familiar concept.
She picked our bedroom, sleeping between Jacob and me. We hadn’t been there in weeks, so much water passed under the bridge. As I assessed my first living space after moving out of GD, I found it lacking. My apartment was a classic corporate executive hideaway, and I resolved to discuss that with Alicia and make changes.
We slept well. When I woke, my daughter stared at me wide-eyed.
“Where is Jacob?”
“Getting us breakfast, honey.”
“Why didn’t we all do that together.”
“Jacob is a lover, warrior, and provider, sweetheart. It’s hard-wired into him to protect and look after his wife and daughter.”
“Am I your daughter?”
“Yes, but you don’t have to call me Mom. That’s reserved for the mom I’m temporarily helping out.”
“Are there lots of Jacob’s out there?”
“No, sweetheart. When you find one, hold on tight.”
“Are you lucky, Kate?”
“I could only be luckier if I were Jacob’s daughter.”
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Love that last few lines of dialogue. Such a good story and love the way it is developing
What a great job of making the reader feel like a silent member of the family. Your writing of thus story shows such great sensitivity. Any reader with children, siblings or intimate friends feels a part of the story. What an incredible talent!