I hurried to the toilet. I wasn’t a fan of masturbation, but needed to calm down and find my equilibrium, at least in there I would be undisturbed. If Tiffany saw me in this state, it might provoke her to play more games and in front of our co-workers.
I satisfied myself by waiting in a cubicle until I’d regained my composure. Then I carried on working for the rest of the day, keeping my distance from everyone. The saving grace to my situation is that when your colleagues believe you’re in deep shit with the boss, they avoid you for fear of contagion.
The afternoon passed without incident, and I changed into casual clothes for Dave’s party. When I was preparing to leave, Kate approached me, tossing a set of minivan keys.
“Will you be the designated driver tonight, Jake?” she asked politely.
They always had a responsible, sober driver, on duty during workplace socialising. Kate was big on making sure that anyone too drunk to look after themselves, got home safely. It would be bad for them and poor optics for a rental car business if anyone drove under the influence and got caught or was involved in a collision.
I caught the keys and felt pleased that she’d asked. It wasn’t a problem for me, especially given my work probation. She was testing my obedience in front of our colleagues. After a career in the military, it didn’t bother me and certainly didn’t make me feel any less worthy. It wasn’t a punishment, and they all knew I didn’t drink that often. Kate and I were alike in that regard.
“Thanks Kate.”
I acknowledged her respectfully, aware that I couldn’t afford to fail any tests now. I saw Tiffany mouth the words ‘thanks Kate’ sarcastically until our boss caught her expression, which hastily turned into a smile.
Odious bitch!
Our workplace was a couple of blocks from Harry’s wine bar. They walked while I drove, parked, and waited at the bar. It was a quiet midweek evening, so our group of twenty-four was a welcome source of cash before the weekend mayhem.
The bar was a typical drop in joint, with a long counter from the door to the toilets at the end. They had private booths on the wall opposite the bar, each was discreetly lit and with rich, comfortable leather bench seats that must have seen many copulations when the bar was in full rowdy flow and revellers’ attention was diverted.
I lined up Citronella shots for everyone, because it was their customary starting gun. I ordered myself a sparkling water with ice and lemon, determined to pull out all the stops, and try to make amends with Kate.
They arrived, settled quickly, and consumed the shots immediately. Beer, cocktails, and more shots followed. I drifted to the periphery of the group while they progressed into hedonism, coercing the bar tender into ever-increasing volume on the sound system. Some danced, others chatted and slowly everyone forgot I was there at all.
Kate watched them from the end seat of a booth where she could still talk to others but was safely above the fray. As the new boy, it was good for me to keep a distance and listen more than talk. As people drifted home, they bade Dave farewell and politely thanked Kate for picking up the bar tab, leaving the hardened party animals behind.
Tiffany gyrated like a drunken slut, hanging around the men, and particularly the married ones. Kate didn’t approve, and it told in her expression, but I didn’t care as long as paralytic T stayed the fuck away from me.
It was obvious she’d slept her way around the company, but beyond my comprehension why. I considered her to be intelligent, attractive, and thoughtful when she was sober and of pleasant disposition. Her politeness had dropped halfway through our date after the alcohol took control.
After a couple of hours of dancing, she sidled over beside me on a bench seat, having teased all the other male targets. They wouldn’t openly engage her now, but a few of the married guys would definitely try later when she and they were drunk and if they could isolate her. They all liked to wear their wedding bands for show to others, but when a beautiful slut like Tiffany was around, they’d wait their moment to be discreet and move in.
“What did Kate want with you?”
She almost pulled off genuine sincerity, but I knew better.
“It was just a probation appraisal, and a general chat, that’s all,” I replied politely.
It wasn’t a lie; I was on probation, and Kate had appraised me thoroughly.
“Yeah, right, that’s bullshit. She doesn’t appraise people after three weeks. You did something bad,” she replied, smugly.
And there’s the real Tiffany, probably deserves a married asshole in her life.
“You should learn to talk less when you drink.”
I moved away from her. It was time to hit the heads anyway, a welcome departure from her nauseating personality.
She followed me into a darkened corridor leading to the toilets.
“Something isn’t right about you.”
She slurred and bounced gently off a wall, catching her balance with difficulty.
“I don’t trust a guy who puts on a polite front. You were a shit date, anyway.”
She’d quickly progressed from tipsy tantrum to full-on drunken abuse.
“My behaviour isn’t put on, for you or anyone else. We’re just not compatible.”
I opened the men’s toilet door and slipped halfway in, hoping she’d turn her attention elsewhere.
“By the way, you should be careful later on. You’re making yourself too available to a bunch of guys who don’t care how drunk you are.”
“Ahh, fuck off.”
Once inside the toilet, I waited for a few minutes to be certain of my privacy, then walked to a urinal, unzipped and relieved myself. I contemplated the day and thought how good it would be to get back to my apartment, brew a coffee and catch up with the day’s news.
The door opened quietly, and I heard footsteps, assuming it was another guy needing to take a piss.
“Fucking hell, that’s a monstrous cock.”
I snapped my head around. It was Tiffany, and she’d snuck up to cop a peek. She stared at my penis while I was halfway done and couldn’t stop urinating to hide myself quickly.
“Jeez, I don’t get why you kept that hidden from me. It’s the biggest cock I ever saw.”
She looked impressed and pleasantly surprised.
Here we go again.
I tried to weave my body around so she couldn’t see, but she craned her neck and leaned all over me to keep my penis in view.
“Whats that? Eight and a half inches? I think it’s more because you aren’t hard right now!”
She reached out to grab my shaft.
“It’s very thick too, can I hold it, please Jake?”
“Can you leave me alone, for Christ’s sake?”
I used my hips to shrug her off. I was glad to shake and tuck myself away, zipping up at a dangerous speed.
“Fuck no, I want that monster inside me, badly.”
She begged me, and I could tell her desperation to have me was genuine. I felt confused, conflicted, and wanted to see the back of her.
“No, Tiffany, go back to the bar and sober up.”
“Please, Jake, I’m so fucking wet and horny right now. Can’t you fuck me in the cubicle, please? It won’t take long with the size of your cock, I’ll cum in minutes.”
She pulled me by the wrist towards a cubicle, with her spare hand reaching under her short skirt, wrestling with whatever panties she wore to get them down.
“Fucking no!”
I could fight my anger no longer, and wrenched my hand away from her grip. She’d invaded my privacy. It was humiliating for me and embarrassing for her.
“Look, Tiffany, we aren’t right for each other and I don’t do casual sex, so fuck off.”
“Jacob, had I known that was in your pants, I would have behaved better on our date. I deserve that cock just for listening to your ‘appraisal with Kate’ crap out there.”
She wafted her hand towards the bar, swayed unsteadily and, with her panties at half mast, she looked ridiculous. Right now, Tiffany was any teenage boy’s wet dream.
“I don’t want casual sex.”
“Can we date again, then? I mean like long term, but after you fuck me just this once?”
“Please, let’s just leave it and be polite to each other. You really need to pull those up before you go back to the bar.”
“Fucking loser.”
She adjusted her underwear before storming from the toilets and slamming the door.
God knows what she’ll say to the others.
I tidied myself in the mirror, checked my irritation, washed my hands, walked out of the toilet and into the corridor, bumping immediately into the boss.
“Hi Jacob.”
It was Kate, and my darkness immediately turned into light.
“What was the commotion in there?”
She nodded towards the men’s toilets and suddenly, I was back in her gentle inquisition.
“Kate… umm, err.”
I stopped, frozen by her presence and terrified of my answer. I smelled her gentle fragrance, a mix of perfume and pheromone, a powerful explosion only women knew the recipe for. It was a warning that I could enjoy her, bathe in her glory, but she could whisk it away quickly and forever. I knew a lie might sink me.
“I… err… umm, needed the toilet. Tiffany must have lost her way, and, well, she’s had a few too many drinks… so-.”
“Ahh okay.”
She cut me off, and we both felt awkward, but I was saved from an embarrassing anecdote.
“I think it’s time to get a few of the folks home now, Tiffany included. Would you mind?”
“Not at all. The weather is getting nasty and that will jam the roads later.”
I was glad the night was ending, although it was still fairly early. We circulated through the others, letting them know their ride home would leave in twenty minutes. Then Kate took my hand and led me towards a booth where we could sit and wait.
She seemed coy, sipping on an orange-coloured non alcoholic cocktail.
“I heard everything in that toilet. The walls are paper thin and I was on the other side, in a cubicle.”
She left her comment hanging and retreated into her drink, leaving the ball in my court.
“I’m really sorry, Kate, I wasn’t lying to you, its just embarrassing and I don’t want to be indiscrete. I can handle Tiffany.”
“Just not the way she wants.”
We both laughed, and I was glad she’d lightened the moment. She seemed happier, rotating her crystal glass on the polished mahogany wood surface, before sipping her drink. Kate was thoughtful, precise, and I prepared myself for her next foray into my soul.
“If I hadn’t interrupted you in the corridor, would you have told me the whole truth?”
“Yes.”
Fuck! She’s trapped me.
“Go on then.”
Kate knew she’d trapped me.
“Oh Christ… umm, okay then. You know Tiffany and I dated, that it didn’t go well, and she’s held a grudge ever since. Tonight, she had a few too many drinks, waited outside and then followed me into the toilet when I was already relieving myself. She became obsessed with my penis,” I said, embarrassed. “She tried to grab hold of it,” I added, ashamed.
“Anything else?” Kate asked with an encouraging smile.
I thought hard about how to say it and in the end I blurted.
“She was sizing up my cock, half dropped her panties and asked me to fuck her in the cubicle. For fuck’s sake, Kate… please, it’s embarrassing,” I whispered, wishing for a shovel to dig myself a hole.
Her expression changed to displeasure and her eyes locked on mine in a tractor beam that reached into my soul.
“I told you not to swear, Jacob. That’s the second time you’ve done it, and both transgressions have gone without punishment.”
She relaxed, readjusting her smile to avoid attracting attention. She leaned across the table.
“If you can’t follow my rules, then I can’t help you,” she whispered.
It was a teaching moment, and Kate was schooling me. Her face was less than a foot away from mine and she kept looking at me. My heart rate elevated, and I felt a tightness in my chest. I was certain her pupils were dilated, a sign she may not fully control her emotions.
What does she mean by ‘punishment?’.
“I’m sorry, Kate, I’m not showing you the best of me.”
“Okay, let’s get them all out of here to their homes and you can drop me off last.”
There were three stops before Kate’s apartment building. When we arrived at Tiffany’s place, two of the guys got out with her, leaning heavily on the van, drunk.
“Neither of you two are going in there.”
I pointed at the apartment building door and stared the drunks down while holding Tiffany upright by her armpit. Kate watched intently from a few metres away.
“She invited us. You should mind your own fucking business.”
Sam slurred his speech while laughing at me.
I sat Tiffany gently in one of the rear passenger seats where she mumbled drunken nonsense, and then I turned back to the drunks.
“Maybe you didn’t hear me, guys.”
“Fu-”
I grabbed Sam around his throat before he had time to finish and marched him behind the vehicle. He shuffled backwards. Raw fear had suddenly sobered him up, and he ducked when I forced him through the rear door of our van into his seat.
Then I leaned into his face.
“One more word out of you and it’s possible you’ll wake up in the dentist chair having your teeth worked on. If not, it will definitely be the hospital for you. You won’t be taking advantage of a vulnerable woman tonight, fuck-head. Am I clear?”
He nodded, sat back, and seemed suddenly aware of my bulk. Perhaps his shameful behaviour sobered him or he realised a night in the hospital might be difficult to explain to his wife..
Charlie followed him sullenly into the van, realising he wasn’t a match for me. Kate looked on emotionless.
“Sorry about the foul language, ladies.”
Kate smiled, and I hoped I got a pass that time.
Tiffany was a drunken pain in the ass, stumbling all over the place, dropping her handbag and mumbling insults. I carried her to the front door, which Kate opened and we got her into bed, with her clothes still on.
“He’s an asshole.”
Tiffany slurred heavily, rolling around on her bed.
“Can you give us a minute please, Jacob?” Kate asked.
I went into the living room, shutting Tiffany’s bedroom door on the way to give them privacy. I felt dread and knew this would not go well for me. Tiffany would undoubtedly have a list of reasons she disliked me and was about to reveal all to a woman who was considering my future.
When she emerged from the bedroom, Kate seemed refreshed and we left together, dropping Tiffany’s apartment keys through the letterbox after locking her door. The rain had become steadily harder and standing water on roads and junctions slowed the late night city traffic.
Nobody spoke in the van and when we dropped Sam and Charlie off, both slammed the van door, then staggered towards their homes and families.
“I’m very proud of you,” Kate said, when we were alone.
She studied me, and I could tell she was being sincere. Her blue pools of truth serum were filled with affection.
“Could you take me home, please?”
I held my breath.
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